Object: matrimony — Story, Setting & Ideas
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GARDEN CITY NEW YORK DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY 1912
_Copyright, 1909, by_ THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
_Copyright, 1912, by_ DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY
_All rights reserved including that of translation into foreign languages, including the Scandinavian_
"Real estate!" Philip Margolius cried bitterly; "that's a business for a business man! If a feller's in the clothing business and it comes bad times, Mr. Feldman, he can sell it his goods at cost and live anyhow; but if a feller's in the real-estate business, Mr. Feldman, and it comes bad times, he can't not only sell his houses, but he couldn't give 'em away yet, and when the second mortgage forecloses he gets deficiency judgments against him."
"Why don't you do this?" Mr. Feldman suggested. "Why don't you go to the second mortgagee and tell him you'll convey the houses to him in satisfaction of the mortgage? Those houses will never bring even the amount of the first mortgage in these times, and surely he would rather have the houses than a deficiency judgment against you."
"That's what I told him a hundred times. Believe me, Mr. Feldman, I used hours and hours of the best salesmanship on that feller," Margolius answered, "and all he says is that he wouldn't have to pay no interest, insurance and taxes on a deficiency judgment, while a house what stands vacant you got to all the time be paying out money."
"But as soon as they put the subway through," Mr. Feldman continued, "that property around Two Hundred and Sixty-fourth Street and Heidenfeld Avenue will go up tremendously."
"Sure I know," Margolius agreed; "but when a feller's got four double flat-houses and every flat yet vacant, futures don't cut no ice. Them tenants couldn't ride on futures, Mr. Feldman; and so, with the nearest trolley car ten blocks away, I am up against a dead proposition."
"Wouldn't he give you a year's extension?" Mr. Feldman asked.
"He wouldn't give me positively nothing," Margolius replied hopelessly. "That feller's a regular Skylark. He wants his pound of meat every time, Mr. Feldman. So I guess you got to think up some scheme for me that I should beat him out. Them mortgages falls due in ten days, Mr. Feldman, and we got to act quick."
Mr. Feldman frowned judicially. In New York, if an attorney for a realty owner knows his business and neglects his professional ethics he can so obstruct an action to foreclose a mortgage as to make Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce look like a summary proceeding. But Henry D. Feldman was a conscientious practitioner, and never did anything that might bring him before the grievance committee of the Bar Association. Moreover, he was a power in the Democratic organization and right in line for a Supreme Court judgeship, and so it behooved him to be careful if not ethical.
"Why don't you go and see Goldblatt again, and then if you can't move him I'll see what I can do for you?" Feldman suggested.
"But, Mr. Feldman," Margolius protested, "I told it you it ain't no use. Goldblatt hates me worser as poison."
Feldman leaned back in his low chair with one arm thrown over the back, after the fashion of Judge Blatchford's portrait in the United States District Courtroom.
"See here, Margolius: what's the real trouble between you and Goldblatt?" he said. "If you're going to get my advice in this matter you will have to tell me the whole truth. _Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus_, you know."
"You make a big mistake, Mr. Feldman," Margolius replied. "It ain't nothing like that, and whoever told it you is got another think coming. The trouble was about his daughter Fannie. You could bring a horse a pail of water, Mr. Feldman, but no one could make the horse drink it if he don't want to, and that's the way it was with me. Friedman, the Schatchen, took me up to see Goldblatt's daughter Fannie, and I assure you I ain't exaggeration a bit when I tell you she's got a moustache what wouldn't go bad with a dago barber yet."
"Why, I thought Goldblatt's daughter was a pretty good looker," Feldman exclaimed.
"That's Birdie Goldblatt," Margolius replied, blushing. "But Fannie--that's a different proposition, Mr. Feldman. Well, Goldblatt gives me all kinds of inducements; but I ain't that kind, Mr. Feldman. If I would marry I would marry for love, and it wouldn't make no difference to me if the girl would have it, say, for example, only two thousand dollars. I would marry her anyway."
"Very commendable," Mr. Feldman murmured.
Montague Glass opens Object: Matrimony not with a wedding but with a financial crisis. Philip Margolius, a real-estate owner burdened with four vacant flat-houses, laments to his attorney Henry D. Feldman: “if a feller’s in the real-estate business … and it comes bad times, he can’t not only sell his houses, but he couldn’t give ’em away yet.” The dialogue immediately establishes a world where property, mortgages, and deficiency judgments dominate conversation—and where marriage, when it appears, is treated as a strategic asset rather than a romantic event.
The excerpts reveal a novel built on rapid, idiomatic speech. Characters interrupt, correct, and bargain with each other using a distinctive Yiddish-influenced English. Feldman’s “professional ethics” are noted only to be set aside when a clever legal loophole emerges. Readers should attend to how Glass uses dialogue to convey character, plot, and social milieu simultaneously.
The Voice of the City: Dialect and Deal-Making
From the first line—“DID YOU EVER SUFFER FROM STUMMICK TROUBLE?”—Glass signals that language itself is a subject. Philip Margolius speaks in a transcribed dialect that mixes Yiddish syntax with New York business slang: “futures don’t cut no ice,” “a dead proposition,” “a regular Skylark.” His speech is not merely decorative; it conveys his social position, his emotional state, and his relentless focus on practical outcomes.
Feldman, the attorney, uses a more standard English but shifts into colloquialisms when excited: “By jiminy!” and “you’ve got the old man by the whiskers!” The contrast between the two registers highlights the gap between legal theory and street-level survival. Glass never explains these terms; he trusts the reader to infer meaning from context. A first-time reader should listen to the rhythm of the dialogue—the interruptions, the repeated phrases (“Believe me, Mr. Feldman”), and the way characters talk past each other before arriving at a shared understanding.
A Marriage of Convenience—Literally
The title’s colon is a pun: “Object: matrimony” could be a heading in a legal document or a personal ad. The excerpts show that marriage is indeed treated as an object—a tool to manipulate property law. Philip reveals he secretly married Birdie Goldblatt, the daughter of his creditor, but she still lives at home. Feldman immediately sees the legal advantage: Birdie’s “inchoate right of dower” means the foreclosure sale can be stopped because she was not made a party to the suit.
Philip misunderstands Feldman’s legal jargon (“My Birdie is a neat dresser”), but he grasps the practical benefit. The marriage is kept secret from the father, adding a layer of farce to the financial drama. Readers should note how Glass intertwines the romantic plot with the business plot: the same conversation that reveals the marriage also devises the scheme to delay foreclosure. The personal and the commercial are inseparable.
Legal Maneuvering and Moral Ambiguity
Feldman is introduced as a “conscientious practitioner” who never does anything that might bring him before the grievance committee—yet he is also “a power in the Democratic organization and right in line for a Supreme Court judgeship.” The narrator’s tone is wryly observational: “it behooved him to be careful if not ethical.” When Philip’s situation becomes desperate, Feldman throws ethics aside and devises a scheme that exploits a legal technicality.
The plan hinges on the fact that Philip and Birdie were married by a justice of the peace in New Jersey without a city license, making it difficult for the creditor to identify the wife. Feldman’s advice—“Just tell them you’re married, and let them find out your wife’s name for themselves”—is presented as clever rather than dishonest. Glass does not moralize; he lets the characters’ actions speak. A reader might consider whether the novel endorses this pragmatism or merely reports it.
Structure and Pacing: The Clock Is Ticking
The excerpts are structured around deadlines. The mortgages fall due in ten days; later, the foreclosure sale begins in three-quarters of an hour. This creates a sense of urgency that drives the dialogue forward. Philip’s repeated refrain—“we got to act quick”—is not just a character trait but a structural device. The novel’s short length (about 11,000 words) suggests that this pace is sustained throughout.
Glass also uses repetition for comic and dramatic effect. Philip tells Feldman he “used hours and hours of the best salesmanship” on Goldblatt; later, he insists he “wouldn’t know nothing about this here sale to-day” if not for Birdie. These echoes reinforce the characters’ fixations. First-time readers should note how the plot unfolds almost entirely through conversation, with minimal narration or description. The setting—New York real estate offices and courtrooms—is implied rather than depicted.
Object: Matrimony rewards attention to its dialogue’s cadence and its characters’ shifting alliances. Glass does not explain the legal terms or the dialect; he immerses the reader in a world where every statement is a negotiation. As you read, track how Philip’s desperation modulates into cunning, and how Feldman’s professional caution gives way to creative scheming. The novel’s brevity means that every exchange carries weight—and that the line between business and marriage is drawn, then redrawn, with each new revelation.
I kept thinking about Philip in that old novel, the quiet desperation of holding everything together while it crumbles. It reminded me of how Show Boat lingered, that same ache of lives carried along by forces bigger than them. Some stories just stay with you, like a song you can’t quite place. Show Boat — Context and Discussion has that same tender weight.
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